I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Randomize
