considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
