And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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