I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
