he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
