im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
