a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
two words...techno handjob
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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