I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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