school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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