Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize