would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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