I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Less talking, more tequila
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
And then the night went full on bisexual.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
