All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
