In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
