I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
how does that bad decision feel?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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