I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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