when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize