I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am mentally ready for anal.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
