I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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