By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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