How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
