Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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