If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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