I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
