You made me cry and you don't even care
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
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I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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