Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
