He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
