he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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