JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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