Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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