Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
