I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
