So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
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I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
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