I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
