dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
