New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
