I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
