what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
