lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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