so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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