mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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