Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
