need another drink. this is the easiest way
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
