in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
