not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize