id be glad to
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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