Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
