Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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