so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Everyone says I win the strip club
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
