either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize