AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i out mim tonsoeep
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