brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
