20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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