Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
