sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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