i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
