if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
