girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
