In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just had sex on a roof
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
