Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
