I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
