Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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