His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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