drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
handjob tips. give me some.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
