We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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