So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize